Like many of you that I have spoken to lately, I too am struggling. There are days when I just want to scream to relieve the frustration and anger I feel deep within. There are days when I just want to cry. Life seems so fragile and transient of late. And just when I feel my emotions are settling and I find a way in which to deal with the reality of life, something changes, and I am propelled back into the unknown.
I am not new to feelings of depression and anxiety, but that’s a whole other blog entirely. However, what I have felt this year is different. It’s a striking realisation of the world and the life I want to live. It’s a knowing, deep within my core. A real knowing that the only thing I can do is to be true to myself, because when I’m not, the fallout is big, bigger, because my happiness directly reflects on my son and my ability to parent well. And there is nothing worse for me than feeling I am failing at the most important job I have. I know I will eventually emerge from these feelings, and my internal struggle to feel happier and more balanced will win, but it will take time.
Time to dig deep and find the energy and courage to keep walking, but on a different road. That lioness that emerged in the birthing room 3 and half years ago will awaken once again. She’s just taking a break right now, working through her emotions but will reveal herself once again. You’ve been warned!
The world is crazy right now and you cannot be everything and everyone to your kids.