I’ve wanted to write a personal blog for a while, but I’m in one of those phases a dear friend of mine calls “torturous unproductive limbo”. And it really doesn’t sit well with me. I have all these things in my head and grand plans to implement, but I just can’t seem to put anything into action and I’m side tracked constantly. This then leads me to feel inadequate, guilty and unfulfilled.
Guilt. A therapist once told me that guilt is one of the most useless emotions one can have, as you can’t do anything with it. I remember when I heard this, I thought how true it was, but it didn’t resonate in a personal sense as I didn’t feel like I carried a whole heap of guilt on my shoulders. I don’t know if it was becoming a mother or a new realisation about my true self, but I now know how wrong I was.
I always feel guilty about things! I think that’s why motherhood is sometimes so challenging for me because when I get shit wrong, the guilt I have is immense. When I put myself before my child, my relationship or all the ridiculous social norms that are thrown at us as women and mothers, then I think I’m being selfish. And I know I’m not alone in this. But if I know one thing, it’s this. When I’m doing well emotionally and physically, so is my son. It’s a huge responsibility but if we tune into to our own needs, it could be our saving grace.
So, all you mamas out there, please take a moment today to take some time out for yourself. Even if it’s 15 minutes. Whether it be to savour a hot drink, call a friend, do some meditation or a short work out, read a book. Whatever you need and want. Because you matter. In flights they always tell you to put your own oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others. You can be of no help to anyone until you help yourself.
Thank you to all those who have enlightened me and keep on doing so