When I was almost 20 weeks pregnant, after my belly started to be visible, I started to think about the birth, which made me extremely scared. Perhaps, there was no article left on the internet that I had not read. I always wanted a ‘normal’ birth. Contractions, pain, dying and resurrection… these were all the things I heard from people around me. Almost no one said anything positive. When we reached the 38th week, my excitement was at its peak. The 38th week ended, we reached the 39th week and nothing. In the 40th week, still nothing. We went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor advised us that to wait another 2-3 days and then decide if a caesarean would be necessary. Of course, in the meantime, I put the 20 week research I did on ‘normal’ birth stories to one side and immediately started researching caesarean sections from A-Z . This made me so confused and so we went back to the doctor. My son’s cord was entangled, and the doctor said he would not be able to be delivered normally.
The next day, I immediately underwent surgery. The only pain I felt was the syringe. I spent the rest of the time chatting with the nurses and my baby was born. They brought him to my chest, and at that moment he opened his eyes. We met eye to eye. I do not know how, and for how long he saw me, but I saw him with everything, and in that second, we were connected to each other at a glance. I felt things that I cannot describe. I did not have a choice, but I do not know which one I would choose if I were given a choice. I do not know what I would have experienced if I had a natural birth, I am still curious. However, I am absolutely satisfied with the caesarean section. I never felt this myself, but I heard that there is a belief that when you give birth normally you are a complete mother and when you have a caesarean, you become a half mother. I certainly do not think the basic stage of motherhood is to bring a baby into the world with 10-12 hours of suffering. These are empty thoughts for me, but everyone’s sensitivity may be different. Especially after birth.
How a child is born does not concern anyone. It is not a matter to be magnified. There are also mothers who say they will give birth normally, despite the doctor’s advice. This can be a vicious circle. We should think about how and in what way we raise a happy and healthy child, rather than how and in what way we are born.
